By Leslie Price
Every article I read about health and sleep includes the following message: Sleep is important. Did you know? If you don’t get enough sleep, horrible things will happen to you. Oh, and also: Don’t stress about sleep. Because stress is also bad for you. But not as bad as not sleeping.
So helpful. As if we need reminders that sleep is important, and how we’re endangering our brains and bodies by not getting enough of it. As if it’s a conscious choice. As if we want to spend our days feeling like garbage.
As a lifelong insomniac, sleep is one of those things I’ve obsessed about for decades. Now it feels like everyone’s right there with me. As Air Mail reports, the 1% is focused on sleep as a metric of health – a sea change from the era where CEOs bragged about how little they slept. Maybe there’s something comforting in knowing that we’re all bonded by our struggle with sleep, no matter who we are.
We asked you all what has helped with your sleep, and we got so many great answers. Everyone is on a sleep journey, and everyone is trying to figure out how to work with their own unique brains and biological situations. I’m going to share some of the feedback here, grouped into three loose categories: behavior changes, supplements, sleep issues as a sign of an underlying health concern, and our longest (and most thorough) response.
Behavioral Changes
“I did a course in Cognitive Behavior Therapy for Insomnia that I read about in the NY Times and it was extremely helpful, even before I started taking any supplements.”
“Sleep has become my obsession in the new year. I recently read The Sleep Prescription (Bookshop, Amazon), and it has changed my relationship with sleep. In particular, control what you can control (wake up time), your bed is for sleep and sex (nothing else), and strategies for what to do when you wake up at night. It’s all evidence-based and is truly helpful.”
“The most helpful thing I have found is Ozlo Sleepbuds – this mostly helps with a snoring partner, but they do actually work!”
“I struggled a lot with snoozing. I would often snooze for a full hour and a half, or turn off my phone alarm and sleep through the full 1.5 hours of my wake-up light and radio blaring (truly wild, I don’t know how that’s possible). I’d always feel terrible, sluggish, and unproductive all day. My therapist is also a sleep specialist and got me onto the whole ‘wake up at the same time every day to reset my circadian rhythm’ and it’s been a game changer. On mornings when it feels extra hard, I remember to “follow the plan, not the feeling” and I’m such a better person all day for it. I started to feel tired earlier in the night, and the wake ups feel more like routine/way less of a struggle.”
“I avoid caffeine after 10am most days, just in case. I’ve lately been ending phone use before 8pm but this is very inconsistent, although it does seem to help with relaxing to fall asleep.”
Health Issues Affecting Sleep
“I am 46 and really struggled with insomnia two years ago, out of the blue. Then, after a few months, it went away. About a year later it happened again, same time, in late December, early January. I went and got my vitamin D and iron levels checked and they were both low. I started taking supplements and have been sleeping mostly great ever since!”
“I have finally found something to make me sleep! And it’s glorious! And it is… the pill! To summarize: I’m in peri, haven’t slept properly in ~7 years, HRT did very little for me, things got very bad, and finally I bullied my way into an endocrinologist appointment and she suggested the pill. Like that tiny little thing most of us took for decades when we were young and didn’t even think about, that we can only beg for a microdose of in middle age while getting lectured about the horrible terrible very bad (disproved study of the) dangers of, and that it turns out has nearly completely fixed all of my symptoms. I haven’t cried in months! Huzzah!”
Supplements (Magnesium, Melatonin, And More)
“I am almost 59, went through menopause just a couple of years ago (along with a divorce), and had trouble sleeping. Usually waking up at 3am. I discovered a drink mix called Nello SuperCalm with theanine and just the right amount of magnesium that has been a game changer! Full magnesium pills make me super slow and groggy the next morning. Theanine supplements are awesome for anxiety.”
“My girlfriends (early 60s to 70 in age) and I talk about quality of sleep and what to do fairly often. Many of us struggle with waking up in the middle of the night and not being able to get back to sleep for 1 to 4 hours! One of my friends recently revealed that she had been taking Benadryl every night for a decade!!! She finally shared that with her doctor and was told to stop immediately. Many of us have started taking magnesium glycinate with great success. I take 1 capsule before bedtime and basically sleep through the night except for having to get up to use the bathroom. When I took the recommended dosage of 2 capsules, I struggled with grogginess for several hours after waking.”
“I’m 49 and have been experimenting with different supplements for sleep. Right now, my concoction seems to be working! I take a half gummy of Feals and 125 mg of magnesium taurate. The magnesium has also put me in a better mood and I’m more pleasant to my family. Or maybe I’m just getting better sleep and I have more energy and positivity during the day.”
“I’ve found taking 1 mg of melatonin each night about 30 minutes before trying to sleep is helpful; my naturopath said it doesn’t create dependency (especially at this low dose), and also helps prevent heartburn at night (which I’ve been plagued with since I turned 40). However, while the melatonin helps me fall asleep, it doesn’t really keep me asleep all night – if I wake up to use the restroom, I can sometimes toss & turn for an hour or more before falling back asleep. Sometimes I’ll take my husband’s 3mg melatonin, and that knocks me out all night! But I also don’t want to become dependent on it so don’t use it often.”
“I have found magnesium, particularly powdered magnesium citrate (I think by Thorne), to be very, very helpful, but I’m no longer able to use it because it causes significant digestive disturbances. More recently, I have found Cortisol Tea by Looseleaf Tea Market to be very very helpful about 90% of the time. Why it is not helpful 10% of the time is beyond me, but I am grateful for the 90%. If I am physically active, it is more reliably helpful.”
“After trying almost everything a human can try to help with sleep, here’s my perfect recipe: cannabis edibles with 1:1 THC to CBN. I take 15-20mgs a night. An eye mask that doesn’t touch my eyelids, allowing them to open. A fan to gently move air and create a little white noise. I also keep a notebook next to my bed to write down the thoughts and ideas that may be keeping me up at night.”
The Response That’s An Essay of Its Own
Like everyone, I read Matthew Walker’s “Why We Sleep,” and, perhaps unlike everyone, I proceeded to buy an Oura ring and a very expensive 8 Sleep mattress topper to lean into the stats. It’s been a long journey of supplements, new exercise plans, hormone and glucose monitoring, etc. Few discoveries in this journey:
Oh – I hate to say it – but the “limit screen time” thing is real. I’ve since replaced my phone doom scroll for a red light mask, followed by cozy Kindle book. Sure, the Kindle is still a screen (albeit e-ink), but it has helped me form a downtime-to-turndown habit.
THC edibles are a stopgap measure that shouldn’t become a persistent habit. It genuinely affects length and quality of deep sleep; and, if you skip an evening and/or while you wean off, you’ll have a period of super active and vivid dreams. Similarly, prescriptions like Ambien and trazodone should not be a long-term solution without regular medical monitoring. As a frequent traveler, I relied more on OTCs like 3mg magnesium/melatonin, Unisom, and Zzzquil to conquer jetlag.
Don’t cheap out on your pillow, and also get a silk pillowcase for temperature control (and skin/hair benefits yadayada). Travel with a good eye mask.
8 Sleep is absolutely worth the expensive price tag. I run cold, my husband runs hot, and now we don’t need to argue about the bedroom ambient temperature. (The downside is that I have been spoiled by my bed at home…)
Everyone talks about “sleep hygiene,” but what about how to set yourself up for a good night’s rest during the day? Glucose monitoring helped me figure out better diet, caffeine, and movement habits, which led to better sleep and lower resting heart rates.
Women in their 30s should absolutely start doing baseline checks on hormone and thyroid levels! Turns out I had hypothyroidism, which explained a lot of my issues with staying asleep through the night.