You’re Not Young Anymore. It’s Fine.

By Leslie Price

Earlier this year, the internet was gripped by a fauxtroversy that pitted Gen-Z TikTokers against skinny jean-wearing, side part-having millennials. A few millennials insisted on “clapping back” against this supposed slander, prolonging the entire news cycle with a deluge of generational embarrassment.

Having worked in digital media for a long time, I could only feel sorrow and empathy for all the poor souls who had to cover this story, which was everywhere. I knew it had penetrated deeply when a friend from high school who lives in rural Pennsylvania texted me about it. “So I’m seeing all these posts making fun of millennials for our side parts and skinny jeans,” she wrote. “What kind of jeans are we supposed to be wearing?”

This drama popped back into my head when a culture writer I follow on Twitter, Jenny G. Zhang, tweeted the following. “Anytime I see someone use a reaction gif I immediately know they are above the age of 33.” Apparently this Tweet did not go over well, because the next day she issued the following edict: “People get so mad on here and for what… Go eat a banana. Take a walk. Face your fears of being rendered digitally and culturally obsolete when you can no longer claim fluency in the modes of communication that younger generations use on social media platforms. Pet your dog.”

Now I don’t much like bananas, but I have to (mostly) agree with her here. One of the best things about getting older, IMHO, is giving many fewer fucks about what people think of you anymore. Young people are facing horrible career prospects and a dying planet. Let them make fun of you. It may be all they have.

Of course, that second Tweet did feel like a bit of a threat, didn’t it? In the world of digital media, or technology, or any other number of youth-obsessed industries, “being rendered obsolete” is not an idle concern, particularly for women. It means you’re out of a job. Indeed, Zhang was spammed with reaction gifs (those aggro over-33 year olds!) and accusations of ageism. (BTW, it’s not only reaction gifs that are out. There are also extremely uncool emojis.)

I made so many mistakes in my teens and my twenties. I didn’t have much money and wore a lot of weird vintage clothes and uncomfortable shoes and generally tried very hard. I had a personal blog about being a hermit in my apartment! The point is: These kids don’t have life figured out yet. Yes, they have opinions about what’s cool and what’s not, and yes, this can feel cruel, but their taste is just as arbitrary as everyone else’s.

I don’t care what younger people think of my hair or jeans. And neither should you! From what I can tell, these kids are simply repeating many of the same style mistakes that many of us made some twenty years ago: boot-cut jeans with weird pointy shoes, flatforms, tube tops, low-rise pants, and so on. Let them.

Last week, I came across the term “Cheugy” (it’s pronounced “CHEW gee,” you’re welcome) that originated on TikTok and describes people who follow “out-of-date” trends. Cheugy seems like some sort of unholy amalgamation of “basic” and “Christian girl autumn.” There is an Instagram handle calling out Cheugy items and I will admit I scanned it carefully to ensure I was not a Cheug.

TikTokers specify that Cheugy is a “millennial” aesthetic (thank you for your service, @webkinzwhore143), and it is a little disorienting to hear “millennial” tied to “uncool old person.” Perhaps it’s because the term millennial has, for so long, been shorthand for youth. We used to be the hot young thing. But the oldest millennials (me included) are turning 40 this year.

Millennials outnumber Boomers, but they’re dwarfed by Gen Z (Gen X is a smaller cohort than all of them). Perhaps it’s because so many Gen Xers and millennials haven’t managed to accumulate all the traditional trappings of “adulthood” thanks to student-loan debt, recessions, the pandemic and other recent calamities. We’re old and broke? It doesn’t feel amazing.

Chart via Bloomberg

Still, we have to rise above. I’ve been practicing by being a parent to a five-year-old; it’s amazing how much shit rolls off your back when you’re this exhausted. Seriously, though: Try to respond to any of this with any reaction other than amused acceptance and you’re going to look embarrassing, shitty, and/or even more out of touch. We’re the old ones now, and it’s okay, I swear.